Am I doing this right?

Aside from a few bumps in the road, up until last night I really felt like I had pretty solid control and understanding of what is happening with my child and how to take care of him.  Last night was really difficult for me.  I think it was difficult for Carlos too but since I take the brunt of the work when taking care of Payton in the middle of the night, I think it was a little harder for me... I'll explain.

Let's get this out there so the queasy and uncomfortable people can vomit or whatever and then get over it... I'm breastfeeding! {GASP}  Regardless about how weird and creepy some people feel about breastfeeding, there are so many benefits for me and Payton to doing it that I wouldn't want it any other way.  Besides that, let's grow up people, it's natural... and you probably breastfeed from a COW (you're human).  I mean sure, you don't stick your mouth right up the the cows utter and drink, but sometimes I pump and feed my baby from a bottle so as far as I'm concerned, it's the same shit.  Now that we got over that, let's move on...

As of right now, Payton sleeps in a pack n play at the foot of our bed so that we can hear and take care of Payton when he needs us.  For those of you who do not know, newborns typically need to be fed every two to three hours.  But our smart little plan for taking care of Payton's needs have backfired on us.  This was the plan:
When Payton starts to wake up or stir (indicating he is in need of something, usually to eat), Carlos gets up to get him and checks/changes his diaper.  When his diaper is taken care of, he hands Payton off to me to breastfeed him.  In his four short weeks of life, this has worked out tremendously well!  There are a few different positions that a child can be breastfed in, the most handy of these for night time is to lay on my side to feed.  This works great because Payton falls asleep while eating.  When Payton is asleep, Carlos picks him up and gently places him in his bed at the foot of our bed to sleep peacefully.

The problem is that as I've become more and more comfortable with breastfeeding and more and more exhausted with the lack of sleep and "me time", so I fall asleep too.  That means that Payton may actually end up sleeping next to me for an hour or so before I even notice, and now he doesn't want to sleep anywhere except in my (or someone else's) arms or on the bed with me.

So now you are asking, what's the problem?  Right?  I'm afraid this is going to lead to us having an infant and then a toddler that will only sleep if he is in bed with me/us at night.  When it comes to Payton developing independence and keeping him safe, I do not think sleeping in the bed with us is a good idea.  Our pediatrician also strongly advised against it.  Besides that, I feel it might affect my relationship with Carlos.  Currently, Carlos sleeps on the floor while I feed our little man so we can have enough room.  It's a really nice gesture but it bothers me because I want him to be comfortable at night too.  The nighttime is supposed to be the one time when Carlos and I are bonding and focusing on us, instead of Payton.  I do not want our situation to end up with Carlos sleeping on the sofa every night because we cannot break Payton of the habit of sleeping with me that he started too early in life.

Because of all these reasons and our pediatricians recommendation we attempted to make him sleep in his bed more last night but it didn't go well.  I continued to unwillingly fall asleep while feeding him so he slept with me a good portion of the night.  When we did get him into his own bed Carlos would climb into bed and wrap his arms around me.  We zonked out for maybe a few minutes (I'm not sure, it's hard to tell when you are that tired) for Payton to wake up and start crying, only to do the entire ritual all over again!

I want to be the best mom to Payton I can possibly be and I think I took last night's situation too personally, as if I failed.  I knew motherhood was going to be difficult but I didn't know it would be this hard!  Moving forward, I've decided to start Payton on a bedtime routine.  I know it's a little early but I think he will benefit from it in the long run and it can't be any more frustrating than what we are doing now!  Also, I've decided to enlist the help of Carlos to keep me awake long enough to put Payton in his bed after each feeding.  It is going to be hard and it's probably going to make us real tired but the results will be worth the effort, in the long run.

Now, what is a good bedtime for a newborn????