My Labor Experience

This post is for all the future mommies out there.  Believe it or not, a beautiful and wonderful labor can exist!

The last photo of me as a pregnant woman.

Instead of starting from the beginning of labor, let me go back to the beginning of my pregnancy.  Don't worry, it won't be that bad.  It's a fairly long story so I will do my best to shorten it to the most interesting and more important details.  After all, I am typing with one hand while Payton occupies my left arm.

Like most people, I had heard all the horror stories of experiences of pregnancy and labor.  Plus I watched a lot of Teen Mom.  As a result, I had a mental wish list.  On it were items such as:

• No stretch marks
• No swelling
• No complications
• Early baby arrival (By early, I meant two weeks.  Secretly I hoped for a 7 lb baby because I was a 9 lb baby, was eager to meet my child, avoid late pregnancy ailments,....and get out of work.)

Pertaining to the labor, I hoped:

• To not be induced (believing it would make my labor longer and more complicated)
• To not have a c-section

In regards to my wish list, I definitely got stretch marks.... about a million of them.  I didn't however get any swelling, thank goodness!  The two days of swelling during my eighth month after we moved to our new house do not count.  I do actually have a picture of my porky toes from those days.

Pay close attention to the purple toes and presence of a kankle.

I planned on only taking one week off work before my due date (July 4th).  However, due to extremely high levels of protein in my urine, I was taken out of work and put on bed rest nearly five weeks before my due date and told I was going to be induced at 9 PM on June 24th.  However, apparently Payton did not want to wait that long to meet everyone.  And that, my friends and readers, is where my real labor story begins.

**WARNING!! If you do not want to know details of what giving birth is like, read no further.  I do not want to get comments about why I put this on the internet.. yada yada yada.  Read at your own risk.**

Twas the evening of June 19th and I was at a friend's house.  Technically I was in violation of my bed rest but I had to get out of the house and I was really only sitting and relaxing outside, talking with my friends so I figured it was an outdoor bed rest.  Later that night I got this feeling.  Almost like the queasy feeling you get when you need to poop real bad, but it went away.  My friends noticed my reaction and wanted to make sure I was OK.  I brushed it off as a sudden urge to "have a bowel movement" and because I was embarrassed about it I just told my friends I "had a pain".  Well, the feeling came and went a few times and I knew I wasn't feeling well so I left my friend's house shortly after.

I went home and had the feeling a few times more.  I sat on the toilet a couple times, attempting to poop, when it finally dawned on me.  I came out of the bathroom and told Carlos my suspicion that I may be having contractions and was going to start timing them to be sure.  I was right and eventually they started to get more painful.  They continued through the night, starting out at about 20 minutes apart.  Carlos was so wonderful.  He went through the entire labor with me.  We both slept between each contraction but every time I felt another one coming, he woke up with me to hold my hand.  I never got a chance to take a child birth class but from watching baby shows during my bed rest, I knew I needed to be as relaxed as possible during contractions so my cervix could dilate. So I just breathed deep.  This went on through the night and into the next morning but my contractions seemed to be stuck at 10 minutes apart.

In a frustrated state, I called the doctor's office to talk to the on call Doc.  She told me that a lot of women go into labor at night so I should go about my day, take a shower, and walk around to see if the contractions stopped or progressed.  The pain was too much so I spent most of the day on the sofa while Carlos stayed nearby, cooking for me and such, so he could hold my hand through the contractions.  He was wonderful.  But they didn't progress and they didn't go away.

I called the doctor again around 5:00 PM to report... well nothing (from this point on, I really have no concept of time so I will rely on approximations and what Carlos tells me).  I told her that my contractions were still ten minutes apart.  The doctor told me to go to the hospital so they could take a look at me and see what was going on.  At that point Carlos was grilling outside so we waited for his chicken to finish cooking so we could leave.  He was running around the house gathering my bag and other things I needed.  I was getting real strong and frequent contractions when I walked so I crawled around on the floor gathering things as well.  Carlos loaded the car and we were on our way!

We arrived to the hospital to do some monitoring.  They hooked me up to the baby and contraction monitor for about an hour but it seemed like forever.  The nurse finally came back with bad news.  My contractions were not progressing and not very regular so they were going to send me home on Ambien.  I was really upset because I knew in my heart that my labor was real and we were going to have to drive back.  The drive home on Ambien was fun!  I felt like I was very drunk.  I was confused, repeating myself, and had trouble walking in the house and into bed.  I guess I was having contractions while I was sleeping but I don't remember them until BAM!  I woke out of a very deep sleep with a monster contraction and I got more very strong contractions every couple minutes after that.  Carlos says I was only asleep for 40 minutes before I woke up.  He was really worried about the amount of pain I was in and so we took off for the hospital again. 

This time they were convinced that I was in labor and admitted me.  This is when the labor starts to be 'beautiful and wonderful'.  Shortly after being admitted I received my epidural.  I know some people are against it and other people are scared of it, but I'm not sure I could have done it without it.  Actually, I'm sure I could have but this would have been a much different story.  I had to sit hunched over the side of the bed while the anesthesiologist did his thing.  The most painful part of that was the numbing shot which hurt less than the numbing shots I was given when I broke my toe.  I had to sit very still, even through a contraction.  I think I received my epidural around 2:00 or 3:00 AM.  After that we slept through the night, I didn't feel a thing.

The next morning I felt so rested, I couldn't even believe I was in labor.  The nurse discovered that my water bag broke through the night by itself.  Hooray!  Carlos and I went in and out of sleep through the morning and were feverishly updating friends and family about what was happening through text.  Carlos was also able to watch FIFA Soccer.  It was a great, relaxed morning.

Late in the morning I started to feel my contractions again and became concerned that pushing would be unbearable so the nurse got me an extra epidural boost.  I was back to feeling.... great!  After a while I started to feel the contractions again but the feeling was just a great amount of pressure.  Tons of pressure!  This feeling, apparently, is normal.  The nurse let me know that they do things a little differently at our hospital.  Instead of pushing right when I was fully dilated, they like to let the contractions do more of the work.  I simply had to breath through some tough contractions until I felt ready to push.

When I was ready the nurse explained the process... push through my bottom for a count of ten, three times for each contraction.  The key was to push like I was taking a BIG POOP because pushing through my vagina wouldn't produce a baby.  It was spectacular!  We did a test push before my doctor arrived and Payton crowned!  What we mostly saw was very dark, loooong hair!  Oh yeah, when I say "we" I literally mean it because with my approval, they brought a giant mirror on a stand so I could see my labor as I went through it.  People might feel weird about looking at themselves in a mirror but I highly recommend it.  I think it was motivating because I could actually see my progress instead of rely on the word of the people around me.  Seeing Payton's little misshapen, hairy head emerge was even more motivation to get him out.  I pushed like my life depended on it.  I was laughing and talking with everyone there between contractions.  It felt wonderful, no screaming, crying, or yelling to report.  As always, Carlos was wonderful... just so present and supportive through the entire process.  Next thing I knew, I opened my eyes after a big push and the doctor was holding my little naked baby.  We only pushed for 20 minutes.  Carlos cut the cord, which took a couple tries, and they placed him on my chest.

I couldn't stop staring at him, touching him, and crying.  I couldn't believe that I was looking at the being that had been living inside me for the past eight and a half months.  He was our baby!  He was healthy so they left him on my chest for several minutes, which I loved!  I watched the nurse clean and measure him from across the room while my doctor stitched me up.  Carlos diligently took pictures of Payton through the process (because I ordered him to do so).

Born June 21, 2010 12:43 PM 7 lb 4 oz 20.5 inches

Our first family photo

And that is the story of my labor.  I look back on the entire process so fondly and do not regret a minute.  I just wish I could express in this blog how meaningful it all was for me.  You just had to be there.  And now I have my son, who I love more than anything in this world.

The two men in my life.

To Cut or Not To Cut?

Have you heard about this?  I recently learned about this tribe in Africa with a very unusual tradition. This tradition dates back hundreds of years.  You see, the tribe felt that the outer ear lobe was a useless part of the body and started to remove them from their infant children.  Being that it was so long ago, medical research was not what it is today.  The tribe felt that the outer ear lobe led to dirty ears and ear infections.  Instead of teaching children to properly clean their ears they started to remove the outer ear from infants in order to prevent ear infections.  Infants were restrained and the unnecessary part of the ear was removed; it was a painful procedure.  Eventually local anesthetics were discovered to make the procedure more comfortable for the baby.  Most of the time the ear removal was done well and there were no complications for the child, but not always.  Here is the dilemma, modern research shows that the outer lobe of the ear actually serves a function.  It actually protects the ear and directs sound waves into the ear.  And as you and I know, with proper care and cleaning, we can keep the ear clean and minimize ear wax.  But the tradition in the tribe remains.  Due to the culture of the tribe, the tradition, and the desire of the parents to have their children's ears look like their own, the antiquated tradition still remains.

If you were to speak with one of these expectant parents, what would you tell them.  It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?  It is ridiculous and the story is completely fake.  I made it up to prove a point.  I think it is safe to guess that a majority of you who would tell an expectant couple in the tribe to leave their baby's ears intact, would have their son circumcised.  You wouldn't dare remove an ear but you wouldn't think twice about removing the foreskin from his penis, which is very sensitive and filled with nerve endings.

I chose to not have my son circumcised when he was born and I don't regret that decision at all.  I couldn't see any reason to put my baby through that pain and the possibility of have physical problems if the circumcision doesn't go well... for no real good reason at all.  There really is no medical reason behind doing it and it was originally started for religious reasons.  In fact, circumcision isn't performed on boys for non-religious reasons in any other country besides the USA.  I think most Americans would shudder to think of circumcising a female, yet it is performed in 28 African countries (more commonly called female genital mutilation).  If circumcision was called male genital mutilation, would you still consider having it done to your child?

Obviously, the decision of whether or not to have a baby circumcised is left up to the parents and if you are already the parent of a boy, what's done is done.  But I do think that circumcision is too popular in America, for all the wrong reasons.  Therefore, I'm presenting you with my opinion and some starter facts.  For anyone that will have a boy in the future, before deciding to have your son circumcised, do your own research.  The medical evidence for the procedure is very limited, meaning the medical risks circumcision is thought to reduce are very limited and avoidable in non-invasive ways.  It is a painful procedure, don't let the idea that an infant won't "remember" the experience fool you into believing that your baby will not feel pain.  And lastly, let your child decide if they want to be circumcised when they are an adult.  They can always remove their foreskin later, but it cannot be put back.

I leave you on this note, have you ever seen how a circumcision is performed?  I haven't either.  But I found a picture on the internet and it looks so terribly painful!

Am I doing this right?

Aside from a few bumps in the road, up until last night I really felt like I had pretty solid control and understanding of what is happening with my child and how to take care of him.  Last night was really difficult for me.  I think it was difficult for Carlos too but since I take the brunt of the work when taking care of Payton in the middle of the night, I think it was a little harder for me... I'll explain.

Let's get this out there so the queasy and uncomfortable people can vomit or whatever and then get over it... I'm breastfeeding! {GASP}  Regardless about how weird and creepy some people feel about breastfeeding, there are so many benefits for me and Payton to doing it that I wouldn't want it any other way.  Besides that, let's grow up people, it's natural... and you probably breastfeed from a COW (you're human).  I mean sure, you don't stick your mouth right up the the cows utter and drink, but sometimes I pump and feed my baby from a bottle so as far as I'm concerned, it's the same shit.  Now that we got over that, let's move on...

As of right now, Payton sleeps in a pack n play at the foot of our bed so that we can hear and take care of Payton when he needs us.  For those of you who do not know, newborns typically need to be fed every two to three hours.  But our smart little plan for taking care of Payton's needs have backfired on us.  This was the plan:
When Payton starts to wake up or stir (indicating he is in need of something, usually to eat), Carlos gets up to get him and checks/changes his diaper.  When his diaper is taken care of, he hands Payton off to me to breastfeed him.  In his four short weeks of life, this has worked out tremendously well!  There are a few different positions that a child can be breastfed in, the most handy of these for night time is to lay on my side to feed.  This works great because Payton falls asleep while eating.  When Payton is asleep, Carlos picks him up and gently places him in his bed at the foot of our bed to sleep peacefully.

The problem is that as I've become more and more comfortable with breastfeeding and more and more exhausted with the lack of sleep and "me time", so I fall asleep too.  That means that Payton may actually end up sleeping next to me for an hour or so before I even notice, and now he doesn't want to sleep anywhere except in my (or someone else's) arms or on the bed with me.

So now you are asking, what's the problem?  Right?  I'm afraid this is going to lead to us having an infant and then a toddler that will only sleep if he is in bed with me/us at night.  When it comes to Payton developing independence and keeping him safe, I do not think sleeping in the bed with us is a good idea.  Our pediatrician also strongly advised against it.  Besides that, I feel it might affect my relationship with Carlos.  Currently, Carlos sleeps on the floor while I feed our little man so we can have enough room.  It's a really nice gesture but it bothers me because I want him to be comfortable at night too.  The nighttime is supposed to be the one time when Carlos and I are bonding and focusing on us, instead of Payton.  I do not want our situation to end up with Carlos sleeping on the sofa every night because we cannot break Payton of the habit of sleeping with me that he started too early in life.

Because of all these reasons and our pediatricians recommendation we attempted to make him sleep in his bed more last night but it didn't go well.  I continued to unwillingly fall asleep while feeding him so he slept with me a good portion of the night.  When we did get him into his own bed Carlos would climb into bed and wrap his arms around me.  We zonked out for maybe a few minutes (I'm not sure, it's hard to tell when you are that tired) for Payton to wake up and start crying, only to do the entire ritual all over again!

I want to be the best mom to Payton I can possibly be and I think I took last night's situation too personally, as if I failed.  I knew motherhood was going to be difficult but I didn't know it would be this hard!  Moving forward, I've decided to start Payton on a bedtime routine.  I know it's a little early but I think he will benefit from it in the long run and it can't be any more frustrating than what we are doing now!  Also, I've decided to enlist the help of Carlos to keep me awake long enough to put Payton in his bed after each feeding.  It is going to be hard and it's probably going to make us real tired but the results will be worth the effort, in the long run.

Now, what is a good bedtime for a newborn????

Adventures in Sandy Land?

Well, I've decided to start a blog.  I was considering doing this when Payton was first born (24 days ago) but didn't put too much serious thought into it until a friend asked if I was going to do it.  Hmmmm, if I thought about it and someone else did, maybe it's a good idea!  I guess you could say that is a little bit of insight into how my brain works, now isn't it?

So here I am with a blog that I may or may not actually keep up.  But it was difficult to get started!  How does one title a blog?  I don't know much about blogging and I don't follow any but I'm pretty sure blog titles are usually pretty cheesy.  Welp!  I think this title should fit the bill!  It is very accurately cheesy while also being pretty general.  See, I'm not 100% sure how I plan to utilize this blog.  I know that the biggest thing in my life right now is the arrival of my son, Payton.  I definitely plan on addressing the issues of being a new mother and how I learn and cope but I do also have a life of my own so I might want to talk about other things too.  For instance, how sad I am that The Hills has ended! Just kidding!  I'm guessing my facebook friends may appreciate me getting a blog so I won't talk about Payton there so much... I mean, if you're not a parent, don't care to be, or have no emotional interest in a certain baby, I'm sure it can be annoying to see facebook status updates on a daily basis about said baby.

Follow if you'd like, feel free to comment as well!  I hope someone will get some sort of enjoyment out of it besides me.  I'll get started as soon as inspiration springs a leak on me... or maybe that will be baby pee... hmmm blog about diaper changing???? Sounds boring.